I’m back in the town I grew up in for the weekend, and it is bringing back lots of memories.  Man, I used to have the world figured out.  Being the oldest sibling, my brother and sister thought I was the coolest (I think) and always wanted to play with me.  Especially my sister.  I took advantage of them.  I invented the game “Restaurant.”


Restaurant involved three players: the customer, the waiter, and the chef.  I always played the part of the customer.  I had convinced by younger siblings that the customer was the most boring person to be because you just sat there the whole time.  My brother usually assumed the role of the waiter, while my sister was the chef.  I would sit on the couch with the coffee table in front of me and do whatever the hell I wanted (read books about ponies, mostly) while they waited on me.


It was a pretty sweet deal.  I got servants.  They got to play with me.  It was a win-win situation.  They had fun.  Sometimes they even requested that I play restaurant with them.


However, it was too good to last.  As they got older, and I guess smarter, they started to want to play the role of the customer.  When one of my parents made me let them, I would make sure to do a terrible job as a waiter and/or chef so that they would think that the customer really was a boring player to be.

bread crumbs

But they got older and wiser.  They started to refuse to bring me food.  I would try and invent reasons why they should.


My brother still fell for it sometimes, but my sister was on to me.

your bully

She had a point.  My siblings were becoming little badasses, and I was running out of tricks.  We had a good run, though!